Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
I skipped work to stalk him.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
i've created a new STD.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
