Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
This baby is an asshole
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
