Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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