I think i sorta joined a cult last night
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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