I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Randomize
