I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
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