the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
