it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
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