Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
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