respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
