Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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