There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
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