Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
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