Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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