i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
