Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
