goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Randomize
