ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Randomize
