Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
kristin has been a bad kristin
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
i now understand why vodka
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
