hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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