vagina is talking i cant
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
You ate ashes out of my bong
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize