It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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