we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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