Nicole vs. Life
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
