Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
