just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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