its not stalking. its research.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize