My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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