I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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