Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
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