i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I've blown a few things in my day
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
