dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
