Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
