So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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