Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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