Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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