you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
