Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
