dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize