She's JV to your varsity
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
