Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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