My first STD was from a foam party
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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