Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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