At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
