its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
