Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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