so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize