The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
