i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I believe in your delicious
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