dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
