apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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