covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
