This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Randomize
