Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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