Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Randomize
