i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Randomize
