The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I just blew my weed a kiss
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Randomize
