I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
