from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize