just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
