sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
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