last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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