Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
